Difference between "Wife" and "Girlfriend"

Some people say :
Wife is a HARIMAU ...............
Girlfriend is HARI HARI MAU

And some say:
Wife is like TV, Girlfriend is like Handphone (HP)

At home watch TV, Go out bring HP.

No money, sell TV. Got money change HP.

Sometimes enjoy TV but most of the time play with HP.

TV free for life but HP, if you don't pay, the services will be terminated.

TV is big, bulky and most of the time old but HP, is cute, slim, curvy and very portable at any time.

Operational cost for TV is often acceptable but for HP is high and often demanding.

Most Important, TV got remote but HP doesn't have.

Last but not least.......

TV do not have virus but HP have VIRUS....
Once get it, HABIS LAH.

So better choose TV lah!

Smile

YOU MEAN ME?

A pair of Michigan robbers entered a record shop nervously waving revolvers. The first one shouted, "Nobody move!" When his partner moved, the startled first bandit shot him.

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road?
A: To show the armadillo that it was possible.

OOPS! I BLEW THAT ONE!

A lawyer defending a man accused of burglary tried this creative defense: "My client merely inserted his arm into the window and removed a few trifling articles. His arm is not himself, and I fail to see how you can punish the whole individual for an offense committed by his limb." "Well put," the judge replied. "Using your logic, I sentence the defendant's arm to one year's imprisonment. He can accompany it or not, as he chooses." The defendant smiled. With his lawyer's assistance he detached his artificial limb, laid it on the bench, and walked out.

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road?
A: To get away from Colonel Sanders!

The Pope

After getting all Pope Benedict's luggage loaded into the limo and he doesn't travel light! ~ the driver notices that the Pope is still standing on the kerb.

'Excuse me, Your Holiness,' says the driver, 'Would you please take your seat so we can leave?'

'Well, to tell you the truth,' says the Pope, 'they never let me drive at the Vatican, and I'd really like to drive today'

'I'm sorry but I can't let you do that. I'd lose my job! And what if something should happen?' protests the driver.

'There might be something extra in it for you,' says the Pope.

Reluctantly, the driver gets into the back as the Pope climbs in behind the wheel. The driver's worst fears are swiftly realised: exiting the airport, the Pontiff floors it, accelerating the limo to 105 mph.

'Please slow down, Your Holiness!!!' pleads the worried driver, but the Pope keeps the pedal to the metal until they hear sirens.

'Oh, my lord, I'm gonna lose my licence,' moans the driver.

The Pope pulls over and rolls down the window as the cop approaches The cop takes one look at him, goes back to his motorcycle, and gets on the radio.

'I need to talk to the Chief,' he says to the dispatcher

The Chief gets on the radio and the cop tells him that he's stopped a limo going a hundred and five. 'So bust him,' says the Chief.

'I don't think we want to do that, he's really important,' says the cop.

The Chief exclaims, 'All the more reason!'

'No, I mean REALLY important,' says the cop.

The Chief asks, 'Who ya got there, the Mayor?'

Cop: 'Bigger.'

Chief: 'Governor?'

Cop: 'Bigger.'

Chief: 'Well, who is it?'

Cop: 'I think it's God!'

Chief: 'What makes you think it's God?'

Cop: 'He's got the Pope as a chauffeur

Compliment for wives...?...

A man was riding his Lamborghini along a California beach when suddenly the Sky clouded above his head...

In a booming voice, the Lord said, 'Because you have TRIED to be faithful to me in all ways, I will grant you one wish.'

The man pulled over and said, 'Build a bridge to Hawaii so I can drive over anytime I want.'

The Lord said, 'Your request is materialistic, think of the enormous challenges for that kind of undertaking; the supports required to reach the bottom of the Pacific and the concrete and steel it would take !! It will nearly exhaust several natural resources. I can do it, but it is hard for me to justify your desire for worldly things.Take a little more time and think of something that could possibly help mankind.'

The man thought about it for a long time. Finally, he said, 'Lord, I wish that I, and all men, could understand our wives; I want to know how she feels inside, what she's thinking when she gives me the silent treatment, why she cries, what she means when she says nothing's wrong, and, how can I make a woman truly happy.'

The Lord replied, 'You want two lanes, or four, on that bridge ???